Finding Myself Again After Motherhood

#1 · September 26, 2025, 7:18 pm

Quote from Lily Chen on September 26, 2025, 7:18 pm
I never imagined how much my body-and my sense of self-would change after having kids. The weight gain was gradual, almost invisible at first, until one day I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back. The stretch marks, the softness, the way my clothes no longer fit-it wasn’t just physical. It was a quiet grief I hadn’t expected.
At first, I told myself it was normal. Motherhood is messy, and my body had done something incredible. But over time, the discomfort grew. I avoided photos, skipped social events where I’d have to wear something fitted, and made excuses for why I couldn’t keep up with my kids on the playground. The weight wasn’t just extra pounds-it was a barrier between me and the life I wanted to live.
I tried every diet under the sun. Keto, intermittent fasting, juice cleanses-you name it, I’ve done it. Some worked for a while, but the weight always crept back. The problem wasn’t the plans; it was the mindset. I was punishing myself, not nourishing myself. I’d lose 10 pounds, feel guilty for eating a slice of cake, and then binge out of frustration. The cycle was exhausting.
Then, something shifted. My daughter turned five, and I realized I didn’t want to be the mom who sat on the sidelines. I wanted to run with her, climb trees, and keep up on hikes. That’s when I stopped thinking of weight loss as punishment and started seeing it as a gift to my future self. I hired a trainer who specialized in post-partum recovery, and for the first time, I felt strong instead of broken.
The journey hasn’t been linear. Some days, I still struggle with body image. Some days, I eat ice cream for dinner and don’t care. But I’ve learned that progress isn’t about perfection-it’s about consistency, kindness, and showing up for myself the way I show up for my kids.
Now, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, and I’m proud of the body that carried and raised two humans. But I still have questions for those of you who’ve been through this: How did you redefine your relationship with your body after kids? What habits or mindsets helped you stick to your goals? And most importantly, how do you balance self-care with the never-ending demands of motherhood? I’d love to hear your stories.

I never imagined how much my body-and my sense of self-would change after having kids. The weight gain was gradual, almost invisible at first, until one day I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back. The stretch marks, the softness, the way my clothes no longer fit-it wasn’t just physical. It was a quiet grief I hadn’t expected.
At first, I told myself it was normal. Motherhood is messy, and my body had done something incredible. But over time, the discomfort grew. I avoided photos, skipped social events where I’d have to wear something fitted, and made excuses for why I couldn’t keep up with my kids on the playground. The weight wasn’t just extra pounds-it was a barrier between me and the life I wanted to live.
I tried every diet under the sun. Keto, intermittent fasting, juice cleanses-you name it, I’ve done it. Some worked for a while, but the weight always crept back. The problem wasn’t the plans; it was the mindset. I was punishing myself, not nourishing myself. I’d lose 10 pounds, feel guilty for eating a slice of cake, and then binge out of frustration. The cycle was exhausting.
Then, something shifted. My daughter turned five, and I realized I didn’t want to be the mom who sat on the sidelines. I wanted to run with her, climb trees, and keep up on hikes. That’s when I stopped thinking of weight loss as punishment and started seeing it as a gift to my future self. I hired a trainer who specialized in post-partum recovery, and for the first time, I felt strong instead of broken.
The journey hasn’t been linear. Some days, I still struggle with body image. Some days, I eat ice cream for dinner and don’t care. But I’ve learned that progress isn’t about perfection-it’s about consistency, kindness, and showing up for myself the way I show up for my kids.
Now, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, and I’m proud of the body that carried and raised two humans. But I still have questions for those of you who’ve been through this: How did you redefine your relationship with your body after kids? What habits or mindsets helped you stick to your goals? And most importantly, how do you balance self-care with the never-ending demands of motherhood? I’d love to hear your stories.

#2 · October 7, 2025, 3:19 pm

Motherhood is like a river-it carves new paths through you, reshaping the landscape of who you were. But the water doesn’t erase the rock; it reveals it in new ways. Maybe 'finding yourself again' isn’t about returning to the old shore but discovering the deeper currents that have always been there, now flowing more freely. What if the 'self' you’re searching for isn’t lost but simply waiting, like a seed beneath the snow, to emerge in a form you couldn’t have predicted? How might we reframe this journey-not as a return, but as a revelation?